Name On A Wall
by Rebellwithoutacause
Summary: LIfe in a zombie apocalypse isn't easy, but its easier if you have a knight fighting for you, even if his armor is coated in desert dust. A look at Kmart's relationship with Carlos and the other members of the convoy, between the time that she's rescued and Carlos's death. One-shot


_**Well hello everyone! Long time no see! I am back for the moment with this little one-shot about K-mart and her relationship with Carlos, Claire, and Alice. Bare in mind that I'm kind of filling in gaps that I wish the movie would have, and extrapolating from that as well, which is what fan fiction is all about. I hope you enjoy, and please, REVIEW!**  
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_**Warnings: MAJOR SPOILER! Kmart's real name is revealed (confirmed by several outside sources) so if you don't want to know that, then don't read. Other than that, you're good to go. **_

_**Disclaimer: I don't anything related to Resident Evil, or the song which is Wonderwall by Oasis. **_

_Today is gonna be the day that their gonna throw it back to you_

_By now you shoulda somehow realized what you gotta do_

_I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now_

_Back beat the is on word on the street that the fire in your heart is out. _

_I'm sure you've heard it all before but I never really had a doubt_

_I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now_

_And all the roads we have to walk are winding_

_And all the lights that lead us there are blinding_

_There are many things I'd like to say to you _

_But I don't know how_

_Cause maybe_

_You're gonna be the one who saves me_

_And after all_

_You're my wonderwall_

_Today was gonna be the day but they'll never throw it back to you_

_By now you shoulda realized what you're not to do_

_I don't believe anybody feels the way I do about you now_

_And all the roads that lead you there are winding_

_And all the lights that light the way are blinding_

_There are many things I'd like to say to you _

_But I don't know how_

_I said maybe_

_You're gonna be the one that saves me_

_And after all_

_You're my wonderwall _

_I said maybe_

_You're gonna be the one that saves me_

_And after all_

_You're my wonderwall_

_I said maybe_

_You're gonna be the one that saves me_

_You're gonna be the one that saves me_

_You're gonna be the one that saves me_

I never thought I'd be here, saying goodbye. Carlos had always been a constant, ever since the convoy had found me all those years ago. We'd both had brushes with death, but we always came up clean and lived to fight another day. The thought that in just a matter of minutes he'd be gone ripped my heart in two, not to mention everyone else that had died that day.

I still remember the first time I saw him. I'd been on my own for what felt like years, watching and hiding as my small town in ripped to shreds by the outbreak. I watched one by one as my friends turned into monsters, my parents chasing me down the street all the while the sun blazed down as though nothing was happening.

I'd taken refuge in the Kmart towards the center of town. I didn't know where else to go, and with all of those things out there, I didn't dare risk coming out. Sometimes they wandered in, but usually I was able to hide and they would shuffle out. As long as I didn't make a sound I was safe. But at night sometimes I couldn't help it. I'd cry like a little girl for everything I'd lost. My parents, my friends, the life I'd been living so easily.

I didn't know how I'd survived this long. I wasn't a survivalist, or even a tough girl. For God's sake the day before the outbreak I'd been at the mall with my two best friends, wishing I had a job so I could buy that cute dress in the window, giggling at the boys who took double takes at me and my friends. I was just a regular teenage girl whose name was way to big for her small town mind.

So when I was curled up in the store, hiding from the horrible world outside filled with monsters and blistering heat, I cried for a long time. I wasn't the girl from before. I was different, and I didn't deserve the name I'd had. I resigned myself to living alone, to dying alone, and soon, because I didn't know how much longer I could last. My stomach growled so loud I thought for sure that the Undead would find me from that alone.

It was dusk when I heard the movement outside. I'd pressed my back against the wall, crouching behind the counter, desperately hoping that whatever it was would just wander off. All I'd managed to find as a weapon was a knife. I clenched it tightly in my fist, feeling my whole arm shake.

Then I heard voices. Not the customary snarling or growling I'd been used to over the past few weeks, but actual voices. Speaking words. I dared to peek above the counter, still holding the knife in my hand.

I could see someone walking in, a man, tall, with what looked like a dusty bullet proof vest on and very dusty boots. His short dark hair was covered in it too. I caught sight of his profile for a brief second, a handsome picture, before I ducked behind the counter again. He was holding a gun, and a large one at that.

"Who's there?" he called. His voice was strong but not very threatening.

I scrambled for the exit of the counter so I could dart into the back. I didn't want him to see me until I'd seen him more clearly. I didn't know if he was dangerous or not. Possibly infected. There was no way to know.

But I didn't make it. He spun quickly and leveled his gun at me, just as I tripped over a phone cord and landed face first on the dusty linoleum. I scrambled up and back but he was already advancing towards me.

"Get away!" I cried. I pushed back, trying to get my footing, but my back was against the wall. I jabbed out with my knife, but he easily moved out of the way.

"Claire! We got a survivor!" He turned to look back at me, dark brown eyes filled with concern. He set his gun down next to him and held out his hand.

"It's ok. We're not infected. We can help you. My name is Carlos."

I looked him up and down and tried to get my heart to stop slamming in my chest. "Who are you?" I asked. I didn't ease up one bit on the knife in my hand. He sounded friendly, but you could never be too careful.

"A survivor. There's a group of us. We picked up a radio signal coming from this town. We're looking for anybody else that's alive. Is there anybody else?" he asked. His voice was soft now, gently searching.

I shook my head. "There's nobody else." I whispered. I'd sent that signal I don't know how long ago, wondering if anybody was out there. I wasn't able to stay at the station because the zombies had broken in and very nearly eaten me alive. It was after that terrible night that I'd come here.

"Come with us. We'll help you." He held out his hand again and a smile. The shaking in my heart didn't entirely stop, but I took his hand and he helped me up.

"Thank you." I whispered.

He led me outside and I winced at the blinding light that I hadn't seen directly in days and days. When my eyes adjusted, I gasped with shock.

There were people! Several trucks and a bus and people! Most jogging too and fro with guns in hand, checking buildings and shooting the Undead where they found them. Boys and girls, men and women. I could barely comprehend the sight when a woman crossed from a truck to where Carlos and I stood. Her hair burned bright red in the blistering sun, her eyes green and filled with purpose.

"Found her in the store. She says there's nobody left alive." Carlos said.

"Ok. Carlos go with LJ and see if you can find supplies inside. I'll take her." Carlos nodded and smiled at me before he jogged away to meet with a black man with a golden gun. The redhead turned to me.

"Hi, I'm Claire." She said, holding out her hand. I gingerly shook it and smiled, still amazed there were people here, alive, not infected.

"What's your name?" she asked. I realized I'd barely said a word, and I hadn't told Carlos my name either. I turned to look for him but I didn't see him anywhere and my heart suddenly felt afraid again.

"What's your name kid?" Claire asked again, shaking me out of my stupor. I literally shook my head and stared at her for a second before I answered. Sometimes I wish I would have come up with something better, but you only get one shot at a first impression. Or a new name in this case.

"K-mart." I answered.

Claire smiled a little knowing smile. "That your real name?" she asked, cocking one hip, her red hair billowing in the warm breeze.

"No. But everybody that I know is dead. And I never liked my real name." There was truth to that. I'd asked my mom several times why she'd named me that, and she said because I would do big things one day, and so I deserved an important sounding name. I always felt awkward because of that. What big things would I be able to do? I just wanted what any teenage girl wanted. Friends, a boyfriend, good grades. I wasn't thinking about changing the world or even a career. I just wanted to turn sixteen so I could get a job and save up for a car. My name was out of place for this small town.

Claire nodded to me almost like she knew the feeling. Knowing what I knew about the outbreak, she probably did.

"It's ok now, K-mart. We'll help you."

And just like that, I was apart of a group. I belonged somewhere. It was easy to make friends. When you've lost everything, things like what clothes you wear or how much money your parents make don't really matter anymore. But even here, I was still a little out of place. I was really the only teenager. There were some younger kids, eight or nine years old, but everyone else was pretty much an adult. Mikey was the closest to me in age. I'd sleep in his radio truck sometimes, but more often than not, I would stay with Claire. But my favorite place to be was next to Carlos.

Don't get me wrong. Claire is one tough customer. In the years I spent with the convoy, I'd seen her do things I never thought was possible. She could blow an Undead's head off without batting an eye. She taught me how to use a gun and how to think on my feet. I knew that if I stayed with her, it would be virtually impossible for anything bad to get to me.

But with Carlos, it was different. He was just as skilled as Claire, but he had a much calmer nature to him, even when there was bullets flying and zombies running us down. And afterwards, when I was still shaking and there were tears running down my face from fear or because we'd lost people, he'd gently wipe them away with his thumb and smile, and remind me that we were gonna be ok. That we'd survived today and we'd survive tomorrow, and someday, everything was going to be alright. We'd find somewhere safe and we could finally stop running. It was after one of those times that I told him my real name.

We were pinned against the crumbling wall of a building, bullets flying all around as we struggled to make it back to the convoy, parked on the onramp to a freeway for a quick getaway. We'd dared to stop on the outskirts of a bigger town, desperate for gasoline and other supplies. We'd gotten what we'd come for, and I'd gone with Carlos to help carry the cans of food. But we hadn't made it out without attraction attention and now dust and debris was whizzing everywhere as Carlos fired shot after shot.

"Carlos! K-mart!" I heard Claire's voice calling for us, and just about fifty yards away I could see her, the burn of her red hair like a beacon even as she used the shot gun to keep the Undead away from the Hummer.

"K-mart, go!" Carlos ordered as he reloaded another clip and shot an Undead right in the face, black acrid blood spattering everywhere.

"No!" I yelled. I could feel the fear and the panic threatening to turn me into stone but I shoved it away and fumbled for the little silver pistol that Claire had given me. I finally managed to pull it free from my belt and shot at an approaching Undead. The bullet went wide and hit him in the shoulder, not even remotely slowing him down. His rotted hands reached for me and I screamed, ducking down just as Carlos struck the monster in the face with his fist, knocking it back long enough to send a bullet through its brain.

"K-mart, get out of here! I'll cover you! Go, now!" Another spray of gunfire and I knew now I had no choice.

I bolted, running like I'd never run before. I heard the pop of bullets and snarling behind me and my heart slammed with terror like electricity shooting through my whole body. I didn't look back, I just ran and locked eyes with Claire, or tried to. But she was looking the other away, trying to keep her position mounted on the Hummer without slipping off and keeping the Undead back.

I could feel the horde behind me, so close that I could smell their rotten breath. My legs were burning and my back ached with carrying the heavy cans of food and I thought for sure I was never going to reach the Hummer alive.

"K-mart, get down!"

Carlos's normally soothing voice was rough with battle stress and whenever he was like that, I automatically did as he said. I flung myself to the ground but kept crawling on my belly, heading for the Hummer, just as a grenade went off, shaking the earth wildly and tilting my center of gravity, but also blowing the pack of Undead after me to bits.

Carlos ran up behind me and pulled me to my feet and we ran for it, Carlos shoving me up into the Hummer, Claire already in the driver's seat as Carlos tumbled in the back. I slammed the doors shut just as the horde closed in, bloody palms beating the windows.

"Everybody ok?" Claire asked, both to us and in the radio to the other cars that were waiting a little further along.

We were already moving as chimes from everybody else came in, including Carlos, but I hadn't answered. I was still stunned, both from the blast of the grenade and the fact I had almost been eaten alive. I'd seen my whole life, both before I became K-mart, and after. I was shaking as I pulled my knees up to my chest and put my head down, trying to comprehend that I was still alive.

"K-mart, are you ok?" Claire asked, trying to snap me out of my shell shocked state.

Carlos crossed the worn seats and put his hand on my shoulder, gently using his calloused fingers to lift my chin so he could look me in the eye. "Are you hurt?" I heard him say. I managed to shake my head but I couldn't speak.

"She's alright." Carlos assured, but he stayed with me while Claire maneuvered to the head of the convoy and we sped away.

Later that night when we made camp along the side of a very barren highway I was sitting in front of one of the campfires we'd built. I hadn't even gotten in line for rations. I just wanted to be alone and try to come to grips with how close I'd come to being killed today. I was so lost in thought, staring deep into the flames, that I didn't hear him approach.

"Hey kiddo. Thought you might be hungry." Carlos took a seat next to me and passed me a can of what was probably some kind of soup. Otto had a gift for figuring out what was inside, even if there was no trace of a label left. It didn't matter much though, it all tasted like paste.

"Thanks, but not really." I took the can anyway but set it down near my foot and kept staring into the fire.

"You know, the answers to everything you're wondering aren't in that fire." He commented lightly.

"You never know." I said heavily as I drew my knees closer to my chest. "I was just thinking about what life was like before. I think the closest I ever came to getting hurt, not even killed, just hurt, was when I was talking on the phone and crossed a street on the wrong light and cars had to swerve for a second."

"What was your name back then?" he asked me gently. He'd asked me that before, everybody had. It was fun to tease and be mysterious at times, the girl who wouldn't ever tell anybody her real name. The little kids got a kick out of trying to trick me into saying, but even the adults had tried on multiple occasions to make me tell.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." He continued. "But you shouldn't think that you have to forget everything about your old life just because the world as we know it is gone. I haven't forgotten the people I knew before the world ended."

"How?" I asked, fighting the tears I could feel welling up in my eyes. It hurt so bad to acknowledge all the people that I'd loved we're dead, or worse, turned into those things. How had I survived and they became Undead? No justice, no rhyme, no reason. Nothing except a gaping hole in my life and danger every waking moment.

"You can't deny who you are. Who you were then is still apart of you now. It's hard at your age to learn to reconcile those two worlds, but there can be a middle where you can be happy in the memories before the world changed." He looked over at me and smiled and I scooted closer and leaned into his chest and despite everything, I managed not to cry. I took long deep breaths, inhaling his smell of sand, leather, and that unique blend of heated pavement and cool wind from a rolled down window going eighty in the desert night.

"Dahlia." I whispered.

I could feel him smile even though my face was still against his chest. "I won't tell them your name. I promise." He kissed the top of my head and let me fall asleep against him.

After that, it was easier to handle the periodic attacks and the growing hunger and unrest in the convoy. Carlos and Claire were like my lifelines. As long as they were there, I felt like I knew my place in the world, even though the world had ended.

Whenever Claire needed to talk to the main decision makers of the convoy, Carlos, LJ, Otto, Chase, LJ, and Mikey, I'd usually stay and sit next to Carlos whenever she'd allow me to. Sometimes there were things she didn't want me to know. Like how little food and water we had left, or how little gasoline we had. Which always meant we'd have to find a town and hope to God there were supplies left. It was getting harder and harder to find things essential to living in the Undead apocalypse.

But whenever I was with Carlos, I forgot about all of that. He never once let me go one believing we weren't going to make it. Even though people died and we both went hungry to feed the younger kids, he never let me go to sleep without making sure I believed that everything was going to be ok. I don't think I would have survived without him.

But as the years passed and we kept driving and kept looking for survivors and supplies, even Carlos couldn't always deny that we were spinning our wheels. I'd asked Claire why we didn't just try to get the hell out of the desert and head somewhere else. She'd brushed me off and I'd walked away angry. Carlos had found me, leaning up against the empty ambulance since LJ and Betty had snuck off somewhere else.

"Hey, you ok?" he asked. He had a cigarette between his fingers. He'd been rationing them lately since the last time he'd found a pack was over a week ago. He'd always be the one to let someone have the last puff though.

"No. No I'm not." I kicked at the dirt and hoped he didn't think I was being a bitchy fourteen year old. I always cared about what Carlos thought of me, even though we all were reduced to the barest scraps of humanity.

"What's wrong?" He blew a stream of smoke out at me and I rolled my eyes, waving it away with my hand.

"Claire. I asked a simple question and she just tells me to go away. She doesn't listen to me." I muttered. I kicked at a small rock, disrupting some sand.

Carlos took another pull on the cigarette, holding it in his lungs for a long time before exhaling. "She just doesn't want you to know that she's scared."

I don't know why, but that made me smile. The fact he was honest with me made me feel special. Like he cared in some way as more than just someone he had to protect. I know how to shoot a gun and stuff but compared to him and Claire, I'm more or less useless. I wouldn't have been able to keep this convoy going all this time on my own, that's for damn sure.

"We're all scared. I don't care about that. All I said was why don't we try going somewhere else. There's nothing left here but sand and dead bodies."

He took the cigarette away from his mouth and ran his fingers through my hair. "Try and be patient with her, K-mart. She's had it hard."

I sighed and relented. "I know. We all have. I think we're going to crazy, Carlos. What if there's nobody else? What if we're the last ones?"

He shook his head immediately and looked me dead in the eye. "Don't think like that, ever. You know that's not true."

"Carlos, how long has it been since we've seen someone else? For months now, it's just been us, and we keep losing people! Face it, we're going to die here!" I kicked the tire of the ambulance and turned away from him, ashamed to let him see I'd lost control.

He set his cigarette down on the hood of the ambulance and then pulled me into his chest and stroked my hair while I cried for a minute. "We're not alone, ok? There are others. I know it. We just have to find them."

I wanted him to hold me all night long, but I knew that his cigarette was burning, so I pulled away and wiped my face. He ruffled my hair again and smiled before he picked up the smoke and took another long drag.

I was going to just enjoy his company in the silence but there was an itching question on my tongue, and I'd never get a better chance to ask him.

"Do you still think about her? Alice, I mean." I clarified when he took a while in answering me.

He tilted his head and motioned for me to sit next to him on the hood of the ambulance. As I leaned my back against the cooled glass and stared at the glittering stars overhead I couldn't help but smile a little. It was like a scene out of a movie, until he answered anyway.

"Everyday." He inhaled the last of the cigarette and held the smoke in his lungs for as long as he could take before finally exhaling, coughing slightly as he flicked the butt away. "She saved my life many times. You don't forget someone like that."

I knew all about that one from personal experience. "You think she's still alive?" I asked. I hoped that talking about her could make it easier but I wasn't going to hold my breath.

He smiled and nodded, glancing at me briefly before staring up at the sky again. "I know she is. It would take an army to take her down."

"Why did she leave?" I asked. That was the one thing Carlos had never said. He had often regaled us around the campfire with stories of his escape from Raccoon City and other hordes of the Undead, and had told stories of Alice which circulated through the camp like wildfire. The kids couldn't decide if Alice was actually real or a fairytale, but I knew better. Everyone my age and older knew better.

"I don't know. We'd bunked in one night on the outskirts of Detroit, and in the morning she was gone. No note, nothing."

It hurt to hear the pain in his voice and it was abundantly clear to me that whatever his feelings were about Alice, they were for her and nobody else. I didn't really try to figure out why that hurt, because I didn't _have _to. I wished Carlos had those feelings about me. Age difference be damned. We were living in a zombie apocalypse for God's sake, did some stupid thing like a number really have to matter?

There was a long pause of silence and despite everything it wasn't uncomfortable. It never was with Carlos. I could relax when he was close, even if we were talking about something hard to swallow. "Go get some sleep, K-mart. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow." He leaned over and gave me a quick kiss on the top of my head, which made me blush like crazy. I was thankful for the shadows to hide it as I hopped off the hood of the ambulance.

Claire was in the Hummer when I got there. I climbed up into the front seat and started getting situated for the night, adjusting my blanket and pillow as much as I could to get comfortable when she spoke.

"I'm sorry for brushing you off Kmart." She said quietly. I opened my eyes and half looked at her. Claire preferred eye contact, especially when it was something serious being discussed.

"It's ok. I shouldn't have run off like a spoiled brat." I sat up; resigned to the fact I wouldn't be sleeping tonight, at least not for a while. I didn't mind though. Claire was like my big sister. We could talk about pretty much everything.

Claire half smirked at me. "True that, miss fourteen going on forty." She reached over and ruffled my hair and I playfully batted her hand away.

"So what we're you and Carlos talking about?" she asked, reclining the seat back so she could get more comfortable.

"Alice." It was hard to say her name, but I did. There was nothing else to do but accept the fact that no matter what I thought, the age difference was too much between us, and he'd met someone else. Someone right for him. Or more right for him than I would ever be.

Claire nodded, as if she understood what I was feeling. We had that silent connection, and whether I said so or not, every day I was thankful for it.

"He asked once if we could try and find her. We looked for a while but we never found anything."

I was surprised. "He must care about her a lot." I muttered. It almost hurt to say it.

Claire looked at me with a calculating stare that I could never hide from. Whenever she got that look, she always knew what was going through my head.

"Are my eyes deceived, or does someone have a crush on Carlos?" She played it off teasingly, but I could see it in her green eyes that the question was more serious.

I playfully pushed her in the shoulder. "No." I retorted. I tried to think of something, anything, to justify my answer, and I was stopped dead in my tracks.

"You do so." Claire teased lightly. "Well, it's no surprise. He has been your knight in dusty armor all these years."

I wanted to roll my eyes but I couldn't. I was too busy thinking about Carlos, and how many times he had indeed saved my life, starting with when he coaxed me from the K-mart.

I was just going to let it go at that but Claire decided to keep talking. Sometimes she'd talk to herself if she thought I was asleep. Asking questions of herself, making not so mental notes. All about how to keep us alive the next day. Not tonight though. Tonight was about me.

"Just keep your head, ok, K-mart? He's too old for you. And besides…you don't want to be pinning after someone who's doing the same to someone else. It just never works out."

I rolled over to face away from Claire. "Whatever." I muttered. I kind of felt bad for it but at the same time, I just wanted to remember what it was like for him to hold me close and to know I was safe and cared for.

And then I actually met Alice. She'd saved our lives and all the kids were peeking in through the windows, trying to get a glimpse at this person who they thought was a figment of their imagination. She was still passed out from whatever she had done to save us from the crows. When I saw the way Carlos held her and carried her inside, staying with her and making sure she was alright before he went to help bury the dead, I felt like I understood. Those two had something, something my fourteen years on this planet that I hadn't seen before. I had to respect that. It was easier after Alice had saved us. I gave her one of my bracelets while she was still unconscious, a silent peace offering and token for luck. And then we talked for a while, and it was easy to understand what Carlos saw in her. Everything became easier after that.

Except for now. Now we were all standing here, saying goodbye. There weren't many of us left, just some of the kids, one or two of their caretakers, me, Claire, and Alice. And Carlos…except he was going to go. He was going somewhere that I couldn't follow, and he'd never be there again to reassure me that everything was going to be alright. He'd never be able to make me feel safe again. My heart was breaking and I couldn't fight it anymore.

He said goodbye to Claire first. They were comrades in arms. I could see Claire was already shoving down the grief as much as she could. She couldn't afford to break down now, not when she still had to lead us to safety.

Carlos turned to me and I led him behind one of the vans. I had to talk to him alone. I didn't know what I was going to say, but I knew that whatever it was, it had better count, because I'd never see him again.

"Don't be afraid, Kmart." He said gently. "I'm not."

I held back my tears. "Carlos, do something for me, please." It was wrong to ask him but I had to.

"What?" The hollows in his eyes were growing deeper by the minute and I knew he didn't have long.

"Will you kiss me? Please." I stared straight into his brown eyes and I knew that he saw every secret I'd ever hidden about him. He didn't look all that surprised either.

He smiled sadly and shook his head. "Ah, Kmart. You don't want someone like me. I'm too old for you. You need someone like you. Young and reckless."

He pulled me close and hugged me very tight and I buried my face into his chest and now I felt the tears welling up. He kissed the top of my head and then once on my cheek, using his calloused thumb to wipe away the tears that had slid free.

"Be safe, Dahlia, and look after the others. They'll need you."

"That's not my name now." I replied, stubbornly trying to put my game face back on. I knew that's why he'd said it, so I'd stop crying. The only time he used it was when he really needed to get my attention, or to change a subject.

He smiled for me, and despite his skin going pale and the bruising on his eyes getting deeper, he still looked every bit the man that had saved me years ago.

"All of that is still apart of you. Just like me." He hugged me again and this time I was able to let him go without crying.

We walked back to where Claire and Alice were waiting. He went to speak with Alice and I reached for Claire. Carlos was standing a little ways off, talking with Alice, and I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I sobbed into her shoulder, but not before I saw Alice reach up and kiss Carlos, the same way I'd been asking him to kiss me just seconds before. There was no jealousy in me now, just grief. Claire's strong arms gripped me hard and when we finally broke apart, I saw a solitary tear rolling down her cheek.

We climbed back into the vehicles that remained in the convoy, just the Hummer and the gasoline tanker that Carlos was driving. It felt wrong to not be beside him, but I didn't have a choice. He was right. We needed a way into the compound to get to the helicopter. Arcadia was our only hope now. But that didn't take the pain and horror away from the moment when the tanker exploded into a raging fireball, destroying Carlos and so much that I loved.

The Hummer roared with fury as the tires bit into the sand and we shot forward, barreling through the path Carlos had cleared for us. We piled out of the Hummer as Claire ran for the helicopter and fired up the engine while I helped Alice get the kids. As soon as they were situated I clambered on and Alice thrust the little red journal she'd been carrying into my lap.

"You're not coming?" Another sharp spike of fear pierced me.

Alice shook her head, almost solemnly, and I could see there was a determined purpose in her eyes. She had another mission here. I'm not big on revenge or getting even, but in this case, I couldn't say that I was disappointed. As much as I wanted Alice with us for various reasons, chief amongst them she could protect us like nobody else, I knew she was the only one who could take revenge on Umbrella. The whole reason my world had been ripped apart.

"Take care of the others." I nodded and Alice turned her eyes to our redheaded pilot who gave a sharp nod back. Alice murmured her name, and in that one word there was so much said it was hard to believe she hadn't given a speech.

The Undead were closing in and Claire pulled the copter up, lifting us to safety, and for a while I kept my eyes trained on Alice until she disappeared into the small building. Then my eyes turned to the remains of the blown apart tanker, and I felt a deep pain in my heart, a slow but persistent ache. I leaned into Claire and even as she was flying, she leaned into me. We had to make due with what we had, and despite losing so many people, we had a chance for everything that all of the lost had fought so hard for. I made the same silent promise to myself that I'm sure Carlos must have made when the outbreak struck.

I would not give up and I would not give in. The days of running and letting others protect me were over. I had others to look after now, and I had to honor Carlos's memory. He would never want me to wallow in my grief and lose sight of what so many had died for.

In those moments that the desert disappeared into a huge plain of sand and we peeled north, heading for the promise of a sanctuary, I lifted my head from Claire's shoulder and stared out into the distance. I still felt the pain from everything I'd lost, and I knew that there was a part of me that had not lost my old name. But I had a new name now, and I would never let Carlos's sacrifice be in vain.

**_Review? Please? Thanks! =) _**


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